Teaching Chastity and Virtue Part 2 – By John Hilton III

This is Part 2, you can find Part 1 (How to Approach the Subject of Chastity and Virtue) HERE.

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John Hilton III has earned a reputation for being an amazing teacher, speaker and author! If you are a regular at Deseret Book, Time Out For Women, EFY or BYU Education Week, you probably already know him. We are SO lucky to have him sharing what he knows with us.

He was born in San Francisco and grew up in Seattle. He served a mission in Denver, and got a Bachelor’s degree from Brigham Young University. Along the way he met his wife Lani and they have five children. They have lived in Boise, Boston, Mexico and Miami. Currently, they live in Utah. John has a Masters degree from Harvard and a Ph.D from BYU, both in Education, and currently is an Assistant Professor of Ancient Scripture at BYU. He has also written several books with Deseret Book. Besides being with his family, his favorite hobbies are learning Chinese and doing humanitarian work. For more information visit www.johnhiltoniii.com

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Why is Chastity Important?

By John Hilton III

This might be the most important lesson you teach all year! In fact with the flexibility offered by Come Follow Me you might want to spend multiple weeks on this topic. Talking with class or quorum presidencies before teaching it is also important. What specific topics and questions do they think are important to address?

I hesitate to offer suggestions on teaching this lesson because the ideas presented in Come Follow Me are so excellent. The church has produced some great Mormon Messages for Youth that teach the principles very well. I love how Come Follow Me suggests having students watch these videos before coming to class. Perhaps a text message or an email during the week can help that really get done.

 

Introducing the Topic

One idea that might be a fun way to introduce the topic is to have two glasses of orange juice and two glasses of mouthwash ready for students to drink.

Think the Order Isn’t Important?

 

Have a student drink half the glass of orange juice.  Tasty, isn’t it? Now have the student rinse with some mouthwash.  Nice and fresh! Invite another student to rinse with mouthwash and then drink the orange juice. How does it taste now? Isn’t it interesting that if we do this in the wrong order, something sweet can become bitter? Physical intimacy is no different – it is good and beautiful, and the timing in which it occurs is very important.

 

If you are going to focus more on “where is the line of sin” in your lesson, then you might consider a different object lesson. Have two strong magnets and invite a couple of students to see how close they can get the two magnets to each other without them touching. You could have a contest, “See who can get the closest, but if the touch, you’re automatically disqualified.” Invariably students will get “too close” (especially if you egg them on), the magnets touch, and they are disqualified. Ask, “How can we liken this to the law of chastity?

Elder Bednar’s Talk

Elder Bednar’s recent General Conference talk is extremely plain and important for young people to hear multiple times. Sometimes I think I as a teacher am tempted to talk too much and “get in the way” of the true teaching that the Holy Ghost can do. One idea to help students directly connect with the content and Spirit of this lesson would be to have them read Elder Bednar’s talk in its entirety. I’ve found that especially with older students most are capable of doing it. You could make photocopies of the official pages from the Ensign(I think something about the official pages makes it more “real”), and ask them to take ten minutes to read the talk and mark phrases that stand out to them. After ten minutes of quiet reading time, go around the room and let each student share a phrase they marked and why it is meaningful to them. This is really simple, but I think may be the most helpful way to help students directly engage with the content.

Conversation Topics

One of the greatest things I think that can happen in this class is for students to openly share their thoughts about how they see sexual purity applying in their lives. Many students will be faced with a lot of temptation, others with very little. Helping students talk about these issues is very important. Here are a couple of quotes you can share with some questions to ask.

Topic: Boyfriends and Girlfriends

Ask students, “What are things you could do to stay sexually pure?”

After gathering a list from students, share this quote: President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “A vicious, destructive, social pattern of early steady dating must be changed…the change of this one pattern of social activities of our youth would immediately eliminate a majority of the sins of our young folks (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 287-288).

You don’t want to make any students feel bad; at the same time, I think it’s important to help young people see the connection between steady dating and steady temptation. Multiple prophets have taught that steady dating is something that should be reserved for after high school.

Topic: Immorality and Love

I think this below quote from President Benson is vital for young people to understand. Have them read it a couple of times to really understand it. This is profound and I think that teenagers can really “get it.”

“I recognize that most people fall into sexual sin in a misguided attempt to fulfill basic human needs. We all have a need to feel loved and worthwhile. We all seek to have joy and happiness in our lives. Knowing this, Satan often lures people into immorality by playing on their basic needs. He promises pleasure, happiness, and fulfillment. But this is, of course, a deception.

“Do not be misled by Satan’s lies. There is no lasting happiness in immorality. There is no joy to be found in breaking the law of chastity. Just the opposite is true. There may be momentary pleasure. For a time it may seem like everything is wonderful. But quickly the relationship will sour. Guilt and shame set in. We become fearful that our sins will be discovered. We must sneak and hide, lie and cheat. Love begins to die. Bitterness, jealousy, anger, and even hate begin to grow. All of these are the natural results of sin and transgression.” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Law of Chastity,” New Era, Jan 1988, 4).

 

 

Ask students: Have you seen this quote come true? Do you have any friends who did things they knew were wrong because they wanted somebody to like them? Did it work? Does immorality lead to love? How do you know?

Invitation to Act and Promised Blessings

Elder Richard G. Scott gave a powerful promise (quoted in Chastity: What are the limits?). He said, “Firmly establish personal standards. Choose a time of deep spiritual reflection, when there is no pressure on you, and you can confirm your decisions by sacred impressions. Decide then what you will do and what you will not do to express feelings. The Spirit will guide you. Then do not vary from those decisions no matter how right it may seem when the temptation comes…The realization of your dreams depends upon your determination to never betray your standards.”

Invite students to do as Elder Scott suggested. This is a sensitive topic; somehow we need to help them prayerfully make a commitment so it’s not the teacher setting a standard for them, but the Holy Ghost is writing in their hearts a standard that they will never deviate from.

Nearly every student we will teach wants to have a strong eternal family some day in the future. For that reason, we can leave them with a powerful prophetic blessing: For the Strength of Youth teaches, “When you obey God’s commandment to be sexually pure…you prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of a loving family” (page 26).

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Aren’t those awesome ideas? Thanks John!

Here are some more resources to teach this lesson:

Here is a fill in the blank (just save the image above to your computer if you would like to use) activity from For the Strength of Youth.

 

If you do this with your family or youth, pay attention to the ideas they use – not whether of not they get the exact words.  They will reveal to you what they feel and believe so you can know how to teach and lead them.

Here is a boy version:

Here is a teaching packet for the suggested outline in the Come Follow Me Curriculum.  These would make awesome Family Home Evenings!

You can find this HERE.

You can find this study and teaching package HERE.

This package includes a pamphlet, 6 learning activities that help you learn and apply the lesson, printable posters, printable locker prints, printable stickers, and Personal Progress Virtue Experiences 2 and 4.

The stickers can be printed and stuck onto cell phones, stereos, computers, etc. as daily reminders to protect themselves by what they see, listen to, and engage in.

You can find this package and see more pictures HERE.