Lessons From My Dress Being Stuck in My Pantyhose- Connie Sokol

I have mentioned before that I often hear Connie Sokol on a local program (Studio 5) around here.  And she just has GREAT advice – especially for women and mothers!

AND she is offering an AWESOME giveaway!

Here it is:

“Celebrate my new Mother’s Day book, The Life is Too Short Collection, by entering to win a $150 Mother’s Day Gift Basket (Amazon, Bath & Body Works, Connie’s Goodies). To enter, join our “Life is Too Short” motherhood contest by emailing your paragraph-to-a-page mother moment where you learned something pivotal, poignant, or pretty hilarious to [email protected] (free gifts to weekly winners until Mother’s Day!)

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In college, I learned fascinating truths about behavioral differences between men and women, but not from a class. It came from walking up a tall hill on a frosty morning with my dress tucked in the back of my pantyhose. Happily unaware, I remember thinking as I walked along, chirping and cooing to the young man I had casually caught up to, that it was unusually chilly that morning. I even wished I had worn a long coat instead of a short jacket. I remember the great number of students, both in front and behind us, all heading for our eight o’clock classes.

And upon first reaching his class building, I lastly remember, after saying a coy good-bye and turning to go, his voice flatly echoing across the morning campus, “Hey Connie, your skirt.” This was when I swept my hand behind my lower half and found, well, my lower half.

I spent the next hour in class not thinking on the elements of biology, but on the rudiments of human behavior, two to be brief (no pun intended). First, why, during my twenty-minute death march, didn’t anyone tell me about my unintentional exposé? And second, why was the fated messenger a man?

When a guy has a zipper down, men do not nervously hesitate then discreetly take him aside and whisper “X-Y-Z.” They say, “Dude, your fly’s open,” and go about their business—with no lingering shame at having noticed and no need to apologize and tell another friend about the embarrassing incident. How many women walking up that hill had, in sheer terror, watched me sway in the wind, and yet were unable to tap me on the shoulder and say, “X-Y-your whole backside.”

As I sat in class, I became confused about the ways of a woman. (And by the way, that roar you hear is the loud, agreeing applause of men nationwide.) This is a gender who can categorically pick lint balls off a stranger’s suit coat or tuck exposed dress tags (with an accompanying shoulder pat to say, ”Now you’re dressed”), but cannot tell someone their dress is stuck in their nylons.

Your college tax dollars finally paid off that morning as I experienced my educational epiphany—this feminine duality can occur because the latter (dress in nylons) is confrontational, carries too great an unknown, and is just plain embarrassing: What if I offend the person? What if she gets mad? What if she doesn’t like me and then two months later I see her in the grocery store?

As you can see, there is too much at stake. With lint, we are safe because we are socially justified. No court of law would convict us for picking off a lint ball, or for that matter a loosely flying hair, because that’s what you do with a lint ball or a loosely flying hair. It’s that simple.

For those of you still confused (another roar), the behavioral bottom line is this: When interference is emotionally pricey—e.g. trailing toilet paper—a woman will stick to the weather and the color of your shirt. Class over, see you next week.

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Looking for a fabulous life boost?

The Life is Too Short Collection is just what you need. Written by Connie Sokol—mother of seven, author, speaker, and amazing matching sock finder—these humorous self-development columns give you the right amount of fun and functional.

Originally written for a major newspaper and magazines, enjoy all three Life is Too Short books in this convenient one-book collection: Life is Too Short for One Hair Color, Life is Too Short for Sensible Shoes, and Life is Too Short for Linoleum.

Put your feet up and laugh as you relate to time-tested tips on being a woman, wife, and mother. Discover how to feel more daily joy, deal with marital differences, and navigate parenthood. These powerful columns are perfect anytime to rejuvenate your mind and soul.

Full of kitchen table wisdom with a side of humor, The Life is Too Short Collection is the ideal gift for every woman!

“I wasn’t even finished with Connie’s book before I felt renewed. Every woman needs to read this and be blessed by her wisdom and humor. Life can be a simpler and happier. She has the formula. Thank you, Connie!” —Joy Lundberg, Co-author of I Don’t Have to Make Everything All Better

“Every page reminds me of Erma Bombeck as Connie dares us to laugh at ourselves (and to forgive ourselves, too) for loving our kids too much and measuring ourselves too harshly…If you doubt your ability to make the most of marriage and motherhood, this book will help you believe again. But, keep the tissues nearby. You’ll need them to wipe away your tears from laughter!” –Rebecca Cressman, KSL Radio Host