Guest Writer: Matt Townsend

I really love my husband.

And I really love my marriage.  I have these dreams that I am not married to my husband for some reason, and I always wake up relieved (and sometimes mad at my husband for not marrying me… the feelings are so real!).

My marriage is very much on purpose.

I know you can’t always guarantee that everything will work out like you plan, but I just did my best to make it more likely.  So, one thing I did was read and listen to people like Matt Townsend.

I knew that I had never been a wife,

and even more, that I had never been a husband – so I was very likely to make stupid mistakes just purely because of lack of experience.  So, I listened to those who had great advice, and that has made a great impact on my relationship with my husband.  I learned a lot before I picked a spouse, and that definitely helped me make a better choice and then treat him right after we were married.

I heard Matt on a local television program

here in Utah called Studio 5.  He is a regular on the show and gives great relationship advice.  I contacted him and asked if he would like to write an article for my readers, and he gladly obliged.

Also, check out his giveaway for one of you and his special deal for all of you.

You can read about it below, but let me just say, I highly encourage you to check it out.  I have a membership to his site and I will listen to his classes while I am working on my computer.  I feel like it is such a good use of my time, and on top of the many things he says that directly applies to my life, he is also entertaining.

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About Matt:

For over 18 years,

Matt Townsend has been energizing and involving audiences with his unique approach to building and maintaining successful relationships – specifically marriages. Matt has the perfect mix of cutting edge research in communication and human relationships combined with the skill of a top-notch humorist. This blend ensures that audiences are entertained as well as enlightened and leave with practical information that can be immediately applied to their life.

 

Matt earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees

in Communication as well as a master’s degree in Human Development and is presently pursuing his doctoral degree in Human Development. He is the host of KSL News Radio’s weekly broadcast of The Matt Townsend Show heard on Saturday morning at 11:00. He is also a weekly featured contributor to KSL TV’s Studio 5.

 

Matt is also doing an awesome Giveaway worth $120!

Everybody can use the coupon code “REDHEAD” to check out his online membership for only $1. He’s also giving away a grand prize of a signed copy of his book, the hilarious audio CD about the differences between men and women, plus a 3 month subscription to his women’s classes, workshops and more! If lots of people sign up, Matt will give out more than one grand prize so your odds are great of winning this.

 

To enter the contest,

go to http://www.townsendrelationshipcenter.com and signup for the $1 membership by using the coupon code “REDHEAD”. This coupon code gives you the price reduction for the first month (you can cancel whenever you want) AND automatically enters you into the contest.

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How to Be More Strongly Committed to What You Know Matters</p>

It’s easy to identify what really matters in life. The hard part is keeping those things top priority.

 

“For Every Thousand Hacking at the Leaves, there is one Striking at the root.” Henry David Thoreau

 

In order to be more “strongly” stay committed to what matters most in life,

you have to really know what matters most in your life. The difficult thing in our life is that many times the things that matter least tend to be the “squeakiest” wheels that get the most oil. Think about how many phone calls you’ve answered that interrupted something much more important or the meetings you’ve attended at the expense of a child’s ball game, dance recital or family time. The key to truly stay committed to what matters most is truly get deeper into yourself and uncovering the “Deeper Yes” that is hidden deep down inside you. The deeper yes is the deeper purpose in your life. It is the true “purpose” for why you live, why you are here and who are the most important people around you. The benefit to clearly understanding what our “yes’s” are is that we also clearly understand what our no’s are as well. By having our yes in other words, makes it easier to say no to others things in our life. One of the easiest ways to get down to your deeper yes is to imagine what you want the most important people in your life to say about you at your funeral. How do you want your children to remember you? What do you want your grandchildren and great grandchildren to say was your contribution in their life? The “Deeper Yes” should resonate with your conscience; it should energize your soul and purpose. You will know when you have your deeper yes, because every other accomplishment will pale in comparison to it. The power of knowing your deeper purpose enables you start to align your life to your purpose and minimize your needless guilt and concerns that can occupy our daily life.

 

Think Less Is More!

Once you have connected to your “deeper yes”

then most of us believe we need to do as much as we possibly can to “live” our deeper purpose, Right? Well actually wrong! We really don’t need to do everything to live our mission and purpose but instead, let’s first worry about doing what we should do today to live our mission and purpose. The rule “Less is More” comes from the sage advice found in the wise answer to the question, How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time right! (Why are we eating elephants anyway right?). An important tool to access our conscience is by asking ourselves a very simple question. “What is the most important thing I can do today to live my deeper yes?” Take the time to ask your self-conscience this question every day and let your heart dictate what you need to do next. Accomplishing a stronger commitment to really what matters to us means that we make sure that our heart is directly connected to the goal, so we can feel the immediate benefit and power of the thing we’re trying to accomplish.

 

Obligate Yourself!

Have you ever noticed how you pay your power bill every month?

It’s probably because the power company sends you friendly reminders or bills or they automatically take the money right out of your bank account. The interesting thing about our lives is that we tend to do things that we are obligated to do more easily than the things we just “should” do. We pay our bills because they’ll chase us until we do. We get our car inspected because the police can ticket us and pull us over if we don’t. In the end, the consequences of the real world are powerful motivators that are tangible and sometimes painful. Sadly many of our most important things in life don’t create as powerful a pull or sense of obligation on us until they are falling apart. For example, how obligated do you feel every day to get out of bed and go exercise for an hour? Or how obligated do you feel to read to your children a half hour every day? Usually those obligations aren’t right in our face until we’ve been told by our doctors that we are seriously ill or until our child is failing every class. Then the obligation sets in and most of us start trying to do something about our crazy life. By obligating ourselves to that we get stuff done before the consequences get too bad.

 

Here are a few ideas that might create a greater sense of obligation for you. Use your…

● TIME-

Put the idea on your planner as an actual event and not on your “To Do” list.

● RELATIONSHIPS-

Commit another person to be your workout buddy. Schedule specific times to come pick each other up every day at the same time and to not take “no” from you for an answer.

● MONEY-

Put your money where your mouth is. Tell your partner or your children that you’ll pay them $5 a day for every time you miss your family together time

● CREDIBILITY-

Announce to everyone in your family about a goal that you have set and the timeline you will have it accomplished by.

 

By finding creative ways to obligate ourselves to do what matters most

we usually end up doing what matters most! Although it started as an obligation, it ends up turning into a privilege or something that we are glad or love to do, especially if the obligation is connected to your “deeper yes!”

 

Feel the Benefit Daily!

The biggest problem with making some of our most important commitments actually take a priority

is the fact that we usually don’t really pay much attention to them. This lack of attention makes it easy to focus on the louder more unimportant things over the quieter, truly important tasks. In the end we must start to look for the “intangible” benefits of living a life that is aligned to your deeper yes. Start to notice how good your life really is and how much more peace you feel every day when you’ve focused on the important things that really matter to you. Be present in your moment while completing your conscience centered goals. Take a minute at the end of every day and truly appreciate the time you had reading with your child. By creating a space in your heart to truly feel the peace of living your “deeper yes” you inevitably end up strengthening your ability to live it better tomorrow. The more you connect to the power of your commitment to what matters most, the strong your commitment grows.