My Last Message | The Red Headed Hostess
This is something you don’t get to do very often.
And I have never before really reflected on what it is that I would say. But there I was, standing before my different seminary classes on my last day with them. My office was emptied, my desk full of baby gifts and my classroom had been secretly decorated with pink and white. My final day had arrived.
I think we all have days like this that we think about and anticipate, whether with fear or excitement. That day that I will get married…that day that I will have my first child… that day that my son will leave on a mission…. For me, I had always wondered what that last day of teaching seminary would feel like.
With all of the expected emotions, the one that caught me most off-guard
was this overwhelming need to leave a final message with them. That thing that I really believe and I really stand for. Earlier in the week I had wanted to give a final lesson like this, but the exhaustion of being eight months pregnant was overtaking me and I just couldn’t find the energy to stand before all of my classes and give a full-blown lesson like I wanted. “Your final lesson is that you are retiring and choosing to become a mother,” another teacher had said to me, and I was so grateful she had said that. Because THAT is something I wanted to declare loud and clear.
Our secretary had devised a sneaky little plan to have the students write me a little note. We have 600 students at the seminary, and I have taught a large percentage of them. Just before it was time for me to really leave, she gave me a gift bag full of their notes and I brought them home and set them on the chair. I kept looking at the bag every time I walked by, but I just couldn’t read them. I was trying to stay strong and I didn’t want to do anything to tip me over the edge, so I just kept looking at the bag out of the corner of my eye.
Late that night, I finally started reading the papers. Note after note was filled with the most beautiful lines. I kept thinking, “their parents should be so proud of them.” They were so gracious and so thankful. They spoke of specific lessons, moments, and testimonies gained. They expressed love, appreciation and gratitude. But the most constant message was that of my little family and how they knew that I was making the right decision. I was so grateful for their encouragement. I know I am making the right choice, but I wanted them to know that too!
Earlier that day as I stood before each class, I did end up having a chance to express a final message to them.
It was my last day and my last chance, and I found myself just bursting to say this to them. “There is one thing that I really want to make as clear as possible. One thing that the longer I live, the more I realize. That thing is that the key to happiness really, really is keeping the commandments.” And they listened. They all listened. There is something about a final message that puts an exclamation point on something before the words come out of your mouth.
“I have learned”, I told them, “that Heavenly Father really does have great things in store for us, and he knows how we can qualify for them, so he gives us commandments and standards to help us get them. The other day I was emailing back and forth with a former student of mine named Ashley who just got engaged. She is a fantastic woman. She went to BYU, served a mission and is now a publicist for Deseret Book (you can read her blog here: between west and main). She was expressing to me in her email how so very happy she is. She has found a great guy and together they have a very promising future. She really is living the dream. In her email she said that she just wanted to pinch herself to make sure it was all real. ‘Pinch away,’ I said. But this is real and this is the happiness Heavenly Father intended for us all along.
“I am still pinching myself”,
I told my students. “I could not ask to have a better marriage than I have, everyday I feel so lucky, and that is what I want for each of you. But you need to know that it isn’t because we fell in love (although we did), THAT is not the reason our marriage is so wonderful. It is because of all of the choices we made before we ever met, and the choices we are continuing to make now. We had been striving to qualify for each other before that day in July years ago when our paths finally crossed, and we are still striving now. Satan wants you to think that our commandments are limiting and make you naive,” and let me add here that when I said this their heads nodded, THIS is something they hear often, “but that could not be a greater lie. Christ never sinned, and he is the example of truth and knowledge and wisdom. The student who can go to high school and walk out clean, and pure and worthy every day is strong and powerful and a true realist. They are learning how to battle, how to be strong, and how to have self-control. They aren’t justifying, making excuses or hurting themselves. If you want to have a lot of issues in your life, Satan knows how to give you those. But if you want to learn to overcome yourself, your weaknesses and shortcomings, Christ knows how to get you there. He gives us commandments and standards so we don’t make choices in our life that can really harm us.
“The title of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet is just right, it is how to be strong! At this stage in your life, you may not understand all of the standards and commandments, and there may be some that you question. But trust me, it is only because you have not yet had the life experience to see it yet. The older I become and the more experience I gain, the more relieved I am that I had trusted the standards put before me in my youth. I now see why they say what they do, but in my immaturity I will be forever grateful that I did not think that I knew better than the clear counsel given to us. That I was an exception to this or that, or that I could tweak this one to fit my preference.
“You never regret keeping the commandments.
You never ever will. Regrets only come when we don’t. Righteousness really is the key to happiness. Your life will not be without trials, but they will be much easier to face when you are spiritually strong, and when they are coming as part of mortality’s testing, rather than from our poor choices.
“If you want to be pinching yourself one day, then live like you have been taught. Work on yourself. Repent often. Pray daily and search the scriptures to know as much truth as you can. You will become stronger and stronger and then THAT is the person you will offer someone else to marry. THAT is the person who will father or mother your children. NOTHING has impacted my marriage more than the doctrines and principles that I have studied for years and the commandments that I have tried to keep. No flower, date, trip, or romantic gesture can even compare to that. It really is the key to happiness.”
Trying not to cry.. this is exactly what I am trying to show my two teenage sons – 16 & 15 years. They have just returned home from EFY in Brisbane on a spiritual high and have started the school year today. I want that spirit to stay with them as long as possible and these thoughts have answered a question that I was trying to put into words. Thanks so much!!
I am going to share these thoughts as part of our FHE tonight.
love & last days
Suze
Gold Coast, Australia
You are an amazing inspiration to me! I came across your blog by chance and now I check it everyday. I spent more time today in the scriptures than I have in years. I was so excited about marking my Book of Mormon with your guide I didn’t want to stop to go to church! I am 35 years old and a mother of 4 and have been in the church my whole life and am just now starting to gain a testimony of the Book of Mormon. Thank you for your example and your willingness to share you amazing gift of teaching. Emily
wow, what a beautiful message!!! Thank you so much for sharing it. I will be sending it to my daughter in college. I hope you continue to teach and inspire us through your blog…..I just love it. I have grown so much this past year because of it.
I check it everyday to see what scriptural insight you have to offer.
I’m so happy for your new chapter in your life….Nothing will ever be the same again! 🙂
My husband was called as a YSA bishop when he was 33 and I 25. After he was released, one of the YSA FHE groups had a FHE lesson and wrote letters to their ‘old’ bishop. When one of the ysa delivered a big bunch of letters to it, we were so overwhelmed. My husband sat there and read through them in bed with me. It was literally the best thing that has ever happend to us. So moving and spiritual. Your post made me think of it!
good luck. I taught seminary for 2 years. Its hard work! (here is is early morning seminary, its a regular church calling.. but a tough one!)
Beautiful thoughts, and a wonderful “last message.” (Kind of just like King Benjamin’s, don’t you think? You’re in good company.) Enjoy that beautiful daughter!
Very sweet…thank you.
You not only were speaking to your students, you were talking to me a. Thank you for jump starting me on studying the scriptures. Thank you for showing me away to learn that helps me to get it!!! You haven’t stopped teaching students, you just have a new set of students to share all that knowledge of yours. “Shannon’s Internet Blog Class Room.” Thought you would retire hun? You will be a wonderful mommy teaching your little girl to love the gospel and our Savior and along the way we are gifted with your emails studying the gospel with you. Sleep in, put your feet up any time you want during the day, dream of becoming a mommy, read all those baby books so you’ll ready for motherhood. You will excel as a mommy. Thank you so very much sharing your family and the gospel with us. Get your house clean and catch up on all your projects that need getting done. Once your little girl is here all you will do is rock her, sing to her, and marvel that you created those tiny little fingers and toes. You will just set and smell her wonderful baby smell. She will give you a greater understanding of the savior’s love for us. Nothing like it.
Thank you for your message today. My married daughter introduced me to your blog earlier this year. I really apprecieated it. My youngest is 17 years old, and your message today is one I have tried to teach all of my kids. Some listen/hear sooner than others.
I appreciate your insight. You help me to remember what I have always known but sometimes forget in the throws of life.
It is so worth it. It is worth every bit of it. I too quit working when I had my first, best decision ever.
Thank you again.
Beautiful, just beautiful!
You know it’s interesting. Your last message is exactly what our work is to do! Elder Bednar expressed it best when he said, everyone always quotes what is the Lord’s work and glory, but OUR work is expressed in a NOT so famous scripture, although it ought to be, Doctrine and Covenant 11:20, which reads, “Behold this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength.”
(I probably killed his quote which is why I didn’t put it in quotes, but it’s always stuck with me. But, of course, the scripture is correct.)
The last time I taught Doctrine & Covenants/Church History I made a point of pointing out and marking each time it said “keep my commandments” It’s in there a LOT.
Thank you! For one more reiteration of OUR work.
Love all your helps and insights.
You have stated what those of us who are mothers, wives, daughters, and youth leaders try to express daily. You cannot know how much your influence will be felt. You, my friend, have “saved generations”.
I just wanted to thank you for your wonderful posting “My Last Message”. I could not have given this advice any better. I truly felt of your spirit and of your love for the youth you have taught. I felt prompted to send this by fb (private messaging) to my beautiful children, (i will also print out and give this to each one, as i have a tradition of sending my children “love letters from mum” on special occasions or when prompted to do so). Thank you, that we can each be a part of your blog and receive such remarkable insight, from your experiences and your hard work in sharing what you yourself have learned. I wish your family well as you embark on a new challenge, that of motherhood. As a mother of (4) children, one who is now away from Perth, Western Australia serving in Washington DC, Virgina, it is the best calling you could ever have….enjoy every minute…with the kindest regards…..
What a wonderful message to leave with your students. they will miss you so much, I am sure. but you ARE making the RIGHT choice. I can speak from experience. I’m so glad I stayed home when I was raising my family.
By the way–thank you guys so much for the cute clock for Christmas. Jackie just brought it to us last week. so we hadn’t gotten it when talked to Tyson on the phone the other night. Thanks again. I love it and both of you ,too.
Shannon! This was so beautiful! What a huge impact you have had on all those youth you have taught!!!I am sad that you had your “last day” but I can’t tell you how excited I am for the next adventure in your life! You will be a wonderful, mother and teacher to your little girl! Girls are the best! That is all I know! Parenting is the great ride you can take! You experience so much joy!!!! Other stuff too but mostly joy! 🙂 You and your husband will raise a wonderful righteous family! We at the Clawson house are so excited for you! We will still love your wonderful blog! Thank you for all you do! Also thank you for saying what I would like to say…so beautifully! I am pinching myself too!!!!
Amy “Graham” Clawson 🙂
Oh Shannon – I wish I could reach through this screen and give you a great big hug!!! I wish I had someone like you as my seminary teacher! Heck I wish I were a member in order to attend seminary (I joined when I was 19). I have been using your blog as an aid to study the scriptures. You are an amazing teacher and will make an amazing mother. President Ezra Taft Benson advised us to try to stay home with our babies and if we did so we would blessed accordingly. I joined the church when he was president and I try to heed his words! Thank you for allowing us to take a glimpse into your world!!!!
Not sure you realize this or not, but YOU were one of the reasons I turned out the way I did. Having you as my seminary teacher those many years ago changed my life. I always wanted to be like you and am so grateful to have you as an example in my life, Shannon! You are amazing, and I’m SO happy you are so happy, and that you’re sharing your happiness with us. LOVE YOU!!
Thank you for sharing!! I really needed to read this today. I loved what you said about “You Never Regreat Keeping the Commandments, you only do when you dont”. Its so true. Your students were lucky to have you and we are lucky you share with us by blogging about your lessons, and ideas!
Thank you!!! Good luck with your baby!
What an absolutely beautiful message! What a legacy you have created…and an example you have and are setting for the kids you teach! I am going to print your message and post it in my home, in my office…everywhere, so everyone sees it!
Awesome, awesome, awesome!
What a beautiful message. I feel so grateful to have found your website. Not only have you influenced many seminary students, but you encourage unseen strangers, like me, through this website. I’ve gained many valuable insights about scripture study and teaching the Gospel, which in turn, bless my family and those around me. You are a great example of the expansive power and influence of a righteous women.
I am a Grandmother of 11 (that lets you know I am old) I still remember my Seminary teacher from my senior year. His influence stayed with me and I invited him to my wedding. He was my only “family” in that sealing room that day as my family waited outside. When we bought a house a few years later I was surprised that he was in our ward. When we bought our 2nd house imagine my surprise when he was in my ward again and was the wonderful Bishop that my daughter had been talking about in her Single’s Ward. I remember the day he told us that it was his last year teaching Seminary as he had a small family and needed to go to another job. I still remember what a hard decision it was for him because of his love of sharing the gospel with us. As I read your post I thought of him. You have definitely had a great influence on the youth and have helped them start out on a strong foundation of the gospel.
You are the best seminary teacher ever!!!! I remember being in your class listening to ya (ten yrs ago now) like it was yesterday! Miss ya and am praying for you.
One of my saddest days as a teacher was my last day as an Early Morning Seminary teacher. The love I gained for those awesome youth and the wonderful scriptures made the hours of study and preparation and lack of sleep seem like it wasn’t even a sacrifice. I did it in reverse, had 5 kids and a career as a preschool teacher when I accepted the call to teach Seminary. It is the best calling I ever had and I tried to pursue it professionally after our job transfer but my baby has to be 18 first. That is understandable as it can be quite a consuming calling. 6 more years, the baby just turned 12! Thank you for your insight and treasures, it is a marvelous work and a wonder!