Strengthening My Rope
I used to think I knew what faith was.
I thought that I had studied it enough, and read enough talks, and given enough lessons. If you would have asked me to speak on faith, I would have felt pretty secure in that subject. In fact, I know exactly what talk I would have given, what examples I would have used, what quotes I would have shared.
But things have changed. I didn’t know what I thought I knew.
My entire life I have been waiting to be a mother. I have never not wanted it, and have dreamed of the day I would have my own children. I thought about their blessing days, their birthday parties I would throw them, the evenings filled with homework, what holiday traditions I would want, what it would be like when they were teenagers. I thought about the home I would want to raise my children in, what vacations I would take them on, and how I would teach them important principles in ways they could comprehend them. I have thought about where I have fallen short and where I would need to improve to be the kind of mother I would want them to have.
My little Hannah is now almost 10 weeks old. I have discovered how blissfully wonderful it is to be her mother. I have also learned that sweatpants and t-shirts are my new wardrobe of choice and that it doesn’t matter what day of the week it is anymore. I have had to come to grips with how much harder it is to go ANYWHERE and that laundry seems to appear from nowhere, and dishes are never done .
I have been in full “adjustment mode”, and then something happened that showed me new horizons.
While I was pregnant, I learned that when women are pregnant cancer can grow at a greater rate. That little piece of information planted itself in my mind and I filed it away. About a month after I had Hannah, that little fact started to come into my mind again and again.
While I was pregnant, I had noticed a little dark spot on my belly, and my husband and I had just shrugged it off as one more effect of pregnancy. Then as it started to grow, we thought it was just stretching with my belly. But, after I had Hannah, the belly went down, but the spot didn’t, so I made an appointment with my dermatologist.
“Oh, yes, that needs to come off,” she said the second she saw it, and sent it in to be tested. She wasn’t alarmed, and neither was I. We both just thought that it was a lovely mole that formed during pregnancy. “The results will be back in about a week,” she said, and I went home without any worry.
The day before the week was up, I started to feel uneasy. Something was telling me that it wasn’t just a mole. I get freckles, not moles. So, I called to see if the labs were in yet. “Not yet,” was my answer. And so I called back the next day, and the next. As my concern was swelling, so was my husband’s, something was telling him the same thing it was telling me, and when Friday came and I received another “not yet” from the doctor, he knew I couldn’t stand to wait through the weekend without some answers. “I called the doctor myself,” my husband said when he called me from work. “I explained our concerns, and the doctor thinks it is just a mole,” he said. And so we breathed a little sigh of relief, and made it through the weekend.
The next week was like the one before: no answers on Monday or Tuesday. I was wondering if I was the office joke by now because when I called again on Wednesday, the receptionist wouldn’t tell me herself that the results were still not in. “We are calling the lab to see what the delay is,” they told me, “the nurse will call you back.”
Ten minutes later I received a call, “They are faxing over your results now. The doctor will look at them, make her notes, and then we will call you.” “Thanks,” I said, feeling like a crazy, paranoid person.
Soon after, my phone rang, and when I answered it was my doctor on the other end. “This can’t be good,” I thought. “We have your results back, she said, and it looks like you have Melanoma.”
I held myself together for the length of the call, but as soon as I hung up, I lost it. Cancer. I have cancer! My little, sweet Hannah was sleeping right in front of me, and I just looked at her and cried. My mind was going to worst case scenario and I couldn’t bear it. My whole life I have waited for this and I just couldn’t stand the thought of not being here for her. I have never felt such angst.
“Please call me,” I texted my husband, and so he did. I never want to have another phone call like that again. He told me after that after he hung up he wanted to throw his computer across the room. These are the kind of moments we just aren’t ever really prepared for.
He left work immediately and came home. I was sitting and holding Hannah with makeup streaked across my entire face. We just held each other and he was trying to be strong, but I understood. I understood that he just found out his wife has a dangerous form of skin cancer and that he has a new baby. I understood that his wife’s future suddenly had a big question mark in it. I understood that we desperately needed more answers.
I can’t express how much I didn’t want to be sick. As I sat and looked at my husband and child, the thought of not being his wife and her mother was more than I could bear. I will take the laundry piles! I will take the endless dishes! I will take it all! I just want to be here! I thought of the birthday parties I might not be able to give, the rides to school I wouldn’t be there for, the cookies we wouldn’t bake. In a moment like this, your mind just races and takes you to unbearable places.
“Can I have a Priesthood blessing,” I asked? “Right now?” he replied. “No, when you are ready,” I said. We were both in a state of shock, and he needed to breathe a little. We left the house, and that definitely helped. Logic started to set in, and all the reading up of Melanoma we had done while waiting for the results helped us. We were pretty sure we caught it early, and with this kind of skin cancer, that is the great determining factor.
After we returned home, our minds were a little more clear and he gave me a blessing. The peace and hope I so desperately needed was immediately restored, and I felt like myself again. An appointment was made with a doctor who specializes in this, and we went about our lives, but not as usual.
Something like this acts as a great filter, and every aspect of your life suddenly passes through it, including everything that you believe. Like I said, I thought I new what faith was, but I had never needed it like I needed it now. The stakes had never been raised this high before.
C.S Lewis said this: “You never know how much you really believe anything,” he confesses, until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to [tie] a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it? . . . Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief. [Lewis, p. 25]
I was suddenly staring at a “real risk”, and I realized how desperately I needed my faith, and how strong I needed it to be. I needed to have faith in God, I needed to have faith in eternal families, I needed to have faith in God’s will for me. I thought I had understood this, but now it was my “rope”, and I needed it to be strong.
My husband’s blessing has been the rope I have hung onto this past week and it will be what I will hang onto next week as I go into surgery. Things look really promising, and it seems as though we caught it early enough to take care of it, and we are in the process of going through all of the proper steps to make certain that happens.
I don’t care how deep they have to cut, and I don’t care how much it hurts. I will take it if I get to be a mother and a wife and if it helps me increase in faith. Because it isn’t just faith, it is the lenses we see the world through. It is the dishes my family ate on that I am here to clean, it is the clothing my family wore that I get to be here to wash, it is the increased perspective – the shift in understanding. It is about really “getting it” and seeing those new horizons.
Oh, Shannon! I will pray for you!! Thank you for the beautiful post and example of faith you show. And thank you for helping me realign my perspective. It seems so easy to lose it. Sending happy thoughts and lots of prayers your way! You are wonderful and I know the Lord is aware of you. Take care! (And know that you’re not the only one feeling overwhelmed by motherhood.) 🙂 XOXO
Im so sorry! You and your sweet family are in my prayers!
I’m really at a loss for words to be honest, but I recently had a cancer scare myself so I know the fear of waiting. I thought about what I would do if I had received that phone call, and honestly, I am praying so much for you and your family. Hold onto your faith tightly. ((HUGS))
I heart dropped and sank. I am SO sorry to hear. You are truly an amazing person to write like you do. I “get it” when you write. It’s something hard to explain. But the inspiration and thoughts flow when I read your thoughts and feelings. You are the kindness person. SO giving. Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts and experience on faith. WE ALL can relate to them. Thanks for the constant reminders.
WE love you..and yes….I feel safe in saying that on behalf of all your readers. You are in my prayers.
I have always appreciated that CS Lewis quote, but haven’t had the scary chance to test my rope on a problem with the magnitude of cancer. You are in my prayers as well as your sweet husband and daughter. The Lord has a way of refining us that doesn’t always play out as we predicted.
You’ve made me enjoy my small moments of motherhood today. I know you’ll enjoy yours.
I am sorry to hear what you are going through, and will remember you and your sweet family in our prayers. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and understanding of the gospel. I would have loved to have taken Seminary from you or for you to teach my children. You make the gospel plain and simple, just as it should be. Your faith will carry you and yours through this.
I’m so sorry to hear about your cancer troubles. I had cancer as a teen and kind of lucked out on the fear factor because it honestly didn’t even occur to me that I could die. Thankfully it’s been gone for 15 years, but my heart really goes out to those with cancer. Although I don’t know you I’ll be thinking of you and praying that all goes well and that you can stay here and enjoy your daughter for many many years.
Dear Shannon,
I am sorry. Truly sorry that you are having to walk these steps. When going through challenges, I have wondered, what was I thinking when I agreed to this. The wisdom of a Stake President, has remained with me, and are the words that help me and I share with friends, “I don’t know how, but it was be ok”. That is the test of our faith. You have so much wisdom and knowledge, and have blessed the lives of many. I pray that your family will be blessed with peace at this time.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope it can be resolved. I have loved your blog so much and appreciate all your time and talents you share. My prayers are with you!
I was so sad to read your news. Much as we know about the blessings at the other end of the Refiner’s Fire, it is always hard when you’re in the middle of it. I will pray for you and your family, for your swift recovery and for your rope to be truly strengthened as you go through this experience. My thoughts are with you.
I know God knew how strong you are! He only knew how we can strengthen our faith and he knew we can do that! You are such a nice person. You’ll be in my prayers. Take Care!
What hard news no matter when, but especially now! I will keep you and your family in our prayers! Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony.
You are truly an inspiration to all of us. When I was reading this post I was being lazy lounging on my bed in front of the computer, the kids had came home from school and I kept telling myself just one more blog and then I will go be with them. Yours was the lastest update, and let me tell you I get really excited for what you are posting next. The further I read the more my heart sunk and the tears would not stop. The piles of laundry and the endless dishes are a blessing and a perspective that I needed and I am sure a lot of your readers needed as well. Your faith and knowledge has helped me so much over the last few months, you have no idea how much you have touched and changed my life. In return I will be praying my heart out for you and for your family. You will be a constant in our prayers. Loves.
My heart truly goes out to you and your little family! You are one incredible person and I’m grateful for the experiences you’ve had in your life to make you who you are today. You’ve helped me grow so much! I wish I had been your seminary student because your love of the Gospel radiates. The world is a better place because of people like you. You and your sweet family will be in my prayers. Trust in the Lord! He will help you, always!!
You will be in my prayers. My daughter just gave birth and also developed a dark spot on her tummy during pregnancy. She was going to wait until her next check-up to have it looked at — I will encourage her not to wait.
You were sent here ‘for such a time as this’ – to be a wife and mother – one who will teach her children the gospel and raise them unto the Lord. This is not your time to not be here. Continue moving forward with faith – as if all is well – because it will be….in His time and in His way.
God Bless you and yours.
Shannon,
I am so sorry to hear that you have cancer. You and your family are in my prayers for a quick recovery if that is Gods will.
You have been such a strength to me… and even though you don’t know me, you have strengthened my testimony and helped me teach my own daughters. You are in my prayers!
Hey Shannon, thank you so much for the inspiring post, as always, you give me something to think about. However, here is a bit of advice for you…. My sister (who is now 24) used to use the tanning beds all the time in high school…like non stop. Then two years ago, in the middle of November, my parents decided that we needed to go on a cruise. Not a “oh that’d be fun!” but like they actually needed to…so we did. We took my whole family over Christmas to the Caribbean. While there, my sister and I were hanging out on the deck in our swimsuits, and my mom noticed a funny looking mole on her shoulder….something she never would have seen had she not been in a swimsuit. When we got home several days later, they went to the doctor and discovered that she also had Melanoma. The doctor removed the mole, and that was that. Since then, she has been totally free of cancer. I know that God knows you, and that He knows your family and is watching out for all of you. I feel His love for you so strongly, and I know that no matter what, it will be okay. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Good luck to you 🙂
I just found your blog a few weeks ago through Pinterest and I can already see what a strong woman you are. Thanks for your sharing your story about faith. I know that Heavenly Father loves you and is watching over you and your family. I hope the surgery goes well next week. I will be praying for you.
Shannon,
I don’t know you personally, but the way you portrayed this makes me want to give you a big hug and tell you that you are doing what is right. Only “by the trial of your faith” will you make it through this and come out triumphant! Your Heavenly Father knows you are strong and He trusts you to handle this to the best of your ability to help you grow stronger.
I am going through a time, not even close to what yours must feel like, but where my husband is unemployed for the 2nd time in a short 2-year period. I am pregnant with my fourth and this second lay-off came so unexpectedly. I have learned through faith and those close to me, going to the temple, and lots of prayer and fasting, that the Lord is still watching out for me and my family. He wants us to do all we can do and He will be with us every step of the way.
Keep your faith strong and most of all listen to the small promptings from the Spirit. You can make it through!
Shannon,
My thoughts are with you and your little family. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your experiences, even the ones that are painful. You’ll be added to my prayers. Faith, Love and Pixie Dust!
Shannon – I’m sure there are prayers going out for you all over the world! You have been such a blessing to so many of us and Little Hannah is especially blessed to have you as her momma. I’m sure that it’s hard to share a personal story like this, but I truly believe in the power of many prayers. Good luck with everything!
You and your precious family are in my prayers. I understand what it feels like to be faced with a devastating health issue. Last November I was hospitalized with several pulmonary emboli. I did not realize at the time how blessed I was to have survived. One month later, my 19 year old daughter had a friend pass away from a pulmonary embolism. This made the issue truly hit home. I cried and thanked my Heavenly Father for sparing my life while wondering why this young 19 year old girl had to be taken so soon.
Trust in your Savior and keep him close! I know that through Him all things are possible. He will give you strength and buoy you up through this trial.
I wept as I read this entry. I went through the same thing 4 years ago and am in my 3rd round of cancer. It keeps coming back and each time my Faith strengthens and my love of my Savior increases and I understand a little more how everything in the universe connects. I’m grateful how cancer has actually blessed my life in many ways. I will definitely pray for you. Hold on, it will be ok.
I am so sorry Shannon. You are a wonderful example, and it took a lot if faith just to share this news on your blog. I’m praying for you and your sweet family, and that your surgery goes smoothly and well. I wish I could give you a big hug and bring you dinner. 🙂 You are an amazing woman!
At a difficult time in my life, Heavenly Father told me in a Priesthood blessing, “Be still and know that I am God.” It was a great comfort to be reminded that He has all power. He can work the mightiest of miracles. No matter what happens, He loves you and He will be there for you, your husband, Little Hannah, and the rest of your family. God bless you, dear Sister, for all you do to strengthen His eternal family in your own home and as far as your blog can reach. We all love you. We are all praying for you.
Thank you for sharing this painful time with us, and for the lessons you are learning and teaching. My hopes and prayers are with you and your family.
Thank you for being willing to share this story. I realize more and more that we all have trials that are overwhelming to us, though the trials are all so different. The good thing is your example of faith and relying on our Heavenly Father can fit every situation.
We will be praying for you. Thank you for your testimony and example.
There is nothing to prepare you for the waiting and then the end diagnosis, you are in my thoughts and prayers. The Lord will buoy you up.
Be of good cheer my friend. I’m almost at my year anniversary with cancer. What a refiner’s fire. Thank you so much for your thoughts, as you have put into words what I have felt. I am the mother of seven wonderful children. I have a loving husband that I adore, and I have follicular Non-Hodgins Lymphoma. It was found at stage 4. As you can suspect, this year has been a roller coaster, but more than cancer, more than chemo, more than treatments, I have experienced an increased understanding of the Love our Heavenly Father has for his children, I have felt the day to day presence of His love and understanding in my life. I know I was prepared to receive this trial before I received it. I can see the work of the Lord’s hands in my life everyday, and as you stated, “it is the increased perspective – the shift in understanding” that is such an amazing journey to go through. I can tell the days when I have emersed myself in prayer and scriptures, and the days I let the world win. Like I’ve told so many it’s all about perspective.
Thank you for sharing your life, thank you for sharing your gift of study and learning with those of us who need it so much. You have been such a strength to me and my family and friends. My scripture journal is my rock. I LOVE it, and thoughts come to me that have never come to me when I am writing. I have a scripture table in my office that is always set up and reading for reading, studying, inspiration, prayer, writing and learning. It has helped me get through. I can’t say enough about the temple and the comfort that is therein. But what has helped me more than any single thing on this earth are the Priesthood blessings at the hands of two fathers, my loving husband, and my Heavenly Father. Those blessings are my rock.
Things will settle, take time to let things soak in. Look at the silver linings and keep a prayer in your heart as I know you do.
My type of cancer does not have a remission, it is something I get to live with every day for the rest of my life. I can tell you, eventually I have come around to just giving everything to the Lord, my life, my love, my family, my hopes, my dreames, my needs, my wants. He knows my desires that are so similar to yours, and I accept His plan for me. After all, that is all we can do. People have a choice in life. To take what is given them and turn it away from God or let it make us stronger. Cancer has changed my life forever and has made me stronger. That said, there’s no getting over the punch in the gut of the first few weeks. My prayers are with you,
Connie
You will be in my thoughts and prayers, too. I want to tell you how much you and your blog has helped me to strengthen MY rope. I have actually spent more time studying the scriptures instead of just reading them. Thank you for all of the work and time you put into this.
We will keep you in our prayers. You have strengthened the faith of so many, know that many prayers will be with you so you will have the strength to go through this. You and your family will be blessed during this trial.
“…by the Spirit of Christ and by the Holy Ghost, you may walk confidently in whatever difficulties will come. Because you are so valuable, some of your trials may be severe. You need never be discouraged or afraid. The way through difficulties has always been prepared for you, and you will find it if you exercise faith.” -Henry B. Eyring 2008
I am so sorry to hear about the cancer. I so understand your feelings, I am a breast cancer survivor of 4 1/2 years. I remember looking at other moms and just wishing a could be a “normal” mom and have “normal” mom problems and not have to worry if I was even going to be around to raise my children. That was so hard. I would pray and pray and ask/plead/beg/tell Heavenly Father why I needed to live. But it wasn’t until I stopped doing that and told Him- I accept thy will for me- that I truly felt peace, no matter what was in store for me.
It was the hardest year and a half of my life going through it, but also one of the best. I had never felt so loved and blessed. I could feel the prayers for me.
You can do this. You will find a strength in you that you didn’t know you had. The Lord will carry you when you are weak and send angels to bless you. Like Pres. Eyrings talk in General Conference, you have been given a mountain to climb. I’m still not thankful for cancer, but I am grateful for the things I have learned on my climb.
I’ll be praying for you too! Take care!
I’m so sorry that you are having to go through this. Lots & lots of prayers will be coming your way!
Oh, dear, I’m so sorry about that. You are in my prayers! Stay strong!!!!!
‘Com carinho’,
Bia
My prayers are with you, thank you for reminding us of how blessed we are to be moms. Your thoughts are inspiring although heartbreaking. May you feel peace during this trial.
Shannon, we are praying for you! Thankfully you were able to catch it. I hope the surgery goes well and you are able to fully recovery.
“Be strong, and of a good courage… and I will be with thee.” Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us all. You are right, faith is tested by trial. It always give me hope to know the Lord will be right there with us, if we let him. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
The knowledge you possess is such a great tool to help with all of life’s challenges – this one in particular and with faith on your side – what a huge blessing!
I pray you and your family will feel peace at this difficult time in your life.
~hugs~
Shannon, my prayers for your strength and understanding will be with you as you go through the trial of cancer. My favorite scripture: “Look unto me in every thought. Doubt not, fear not.” D&C 36:6
Dear Shannon, you have touched so many lives, and strengthened so many. Now it is our turn. May you feel peace and comfort knowing so many love you and will be praying for you and your family through this trial. Your rope will hold! ((hugs))
As one who has grown to love the gospel more and find strength through your almost daily blogs, I want to let you know that you are an amazing woman!
What a heartfelt and strong testimony of faith you do have! Can you imagine if you had not prepared?
You will be in our prayers and thoughts this week!
Thank you!
your friend in the cornfields!
You probably don’t remember me and I don’t expect you to. You were my seminary teacher about 8 or 9 years ago. I just want to let you know that you are in my prayers. I hope everything turns out well.
Thank you for sharing. I will pray for you. I am grateful that you are real and tell it like it is. Thank you for your example.
We are so sorry that you must face this challenge. Our prayers are with you!
Shannon, I am sooooo disheartened by your news, and I want you to know that you will be in my prayers daily. You have given me so much to beatify and lift up my spiritual world. At this time, I only hope you will be blessed many times over all the blessings you have given to all of us! I know I speak for many who read your blog faithfully when I say we love you and are cheering for you!
Shannon you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, I am so sorry you have to go through this, but thank you for your example of faith.
Shannon,
Your words and ideas on your blog have taught me more than I’ve ever learned in Sunday School. Every time I write in one of my (your) journals, I say a little prayer of gratitude for you. Thank you for all that you do for us.
Your faith will continue to strengthen and deepen during this trial as you are taught what you need to know. The gospel will comfort and ultimately help perfect you as you journey through the darkness. In his seminal GC talk on Adversity, Henry B Eyring says, “The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of Their infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life.” Having endured a trial for the past 3.5 years (and still going), I’ve found great comfort in the words of our apostles and leaders like President Eyring. Julie Beck also has incredibly uplifting words in Ep 10 of Relief Society Q&A (Trials and Adversity) on the Mormon Channel
And like a ‘virtual’ Relief Society, we are all here to help strengthen you during this difficult time. We love you!
Shannon,
I have been reading your blog for a couple of months now and have felt incredibly strengthened by your understanding of the scriptures and study aids.
Please know that I will be praying for you, your family, and complete and full recovery.
As I sit here, tears are coming down my face. Your blog is meant to inspire and give others the opportunity to grow, and for that I thank you! How scary a thing to go through and so many of us are praying for you. I want to thank you for putting life in such a perfect perspective. There’s so many things that keep us distracted and you really touched a well needed chord in my being.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry you are facing this but with all the knowledge of faith that you have obtained, it seems now is your time to prove that power. A friend once told me that “faith isn’t faith until it is all that you have.” We have a small book group in our ward and we have been studying “Lectures on Faith” with an out of print BYU Studies book that provides discussions on the lectures. I will never look at faith the same way again after reading and studying this. Faith does require action, and with the knowledge of the Lord that you have, wait patiently for the effects of your faith. Believe in Miracles. You are a strong woman. Let all be “according to thy will.” May you find peace through all of this.
I read this today. Worth a try.
The essential oil of Orange rind has been studied and shown to stop melanoma. So has Frankincense. Using orange oil on little brown patches on my skin has made them disappear!! There’s some good news…..eat your broccoli and take extra vitamin C for preventing the damage that causes pre mature aging and death!! Be well! ♥
Please know you are in my prayers. We are so blessed to have the gospel in order to have a priesthood blessing to give us a “rope to hang on”. Thank you for all you do for us. Your posts have changed my scripture study! All of our thoughts are now turned to you for a full recovery!
I’ve been reading your blog for a while but never commented before. Thank you for sharing. I was so touched by your story and thoughts on faith. You are an amazing woman and it seems the Lord has decided it was time for you to stretch and grow a little more. Thank you for taking the time to inspire us, your readers, during this challenging time in your life. Many prayers are being said for you!
You don’t know me from Adam but I love reading your site and have learned so much. I have never commented or sent an email before but at a time like this I most definately am sending my prayers. Know that I am sending a thread or two that you can add to your rope. Think of all of us adding a few extra strands on to that rope and it will getting stronger and stronger through this ordeal. You are amazing! We love you!!
Thank you for sharing your struggles and joys, your inspiration and faith. I hope I get to meet you someday. Your example has blessed my life! I am excited to keep a scripture journal now! I came across your lesson on scripture journals (I think on pinterest) and thought, this lady reminds me of the redheaded hostess! hehe I want you to know- I will be praying for you! Hugs
I know I’m extra emotional since I’m pregnant and three weeks from my due date… I also know this particular topic hits home since Melanoma runs in my family; so it feels quite real to me. I don’t actually -know- you, but have been reading your blog for over a year. You have definitely impacted my life, my family’s life, and the way I think about studying. When I got the email that you had a new post on your blog I was very excited to read it – and I read it as soon as I got a moment to myself. …and then I balled and sobbed and felt like I wanted to call you up and hug you; like one of my sisters. It seemed like my own world had been rocked, profoundly. I have been trying to think what I could say – but of course nothing is adequate or fitting. Except that I love you as a Sister in the Gospel of Christ, I am praying for you and your family, and I know God is aware of you and loves you very much.
Happy 1st Mothers Day !!! I hope you are feeling better! You are in my prayers!:)
I have been following your blog for a long time and you always touch me. Once again your words of faith and trust are encouraging. you will be in our prayers your family and new little Hannah. I know the Lord is with you and stands ready to guide you in this difficult time. I know you know this as well.
I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been reading your posts that are delivered to my inbox lately. But I just happened to open and read your story. The thought came to share this site with you.
http://www.herballegacy.com/Cancer.html
http://www.herballegacy.com/Incurables.html
this is from one of the great master herbalists of the last century; truly inspired (LDS) man. I’ve witnessed miracles myself. the idea is 2 give your body the nutrients/building blocks it needs to repair itself while you continue your treatment (no you don’t have to choose 1 over the other). I hope you find it useful. God bless.
becky rose: I would definitely try essential oils (they are amazing)…but get a quality therapeutic grade oil such as doTERRA. more expensive but you get what you pay for.
Thank you for sharing this very personal challange with us. You are an inspiration. Feel the love that our Father in Heaven has for you and your family through all the comments of love and support.
my thoughts are with you and your family
Thank you for remaining strong, for reaching out, for strengthening my faith through your example. I can’t imagine how difficult and scary this must be for you and your family right now. I will pray for you.
Shannon, I found your website just today. I marvel at your vast knowledge and love of the scriptures, and even more at your willingness to share! Thank you!
Then, I read this post.
Since I already ‘see’ you as a friend, you must know that my heart tore in two at this news. Please know that I add my faith and prayers to those already directed your way. This must be such a frightening time for you, and the waiting…the waiting must be horrid.
You are an example of trust in the Lord, faith in your husband and his priesthood, and a personal knowledge of all God has given you, and all he has in store for you and your family.
I pray that you will feel the love, faith and strength of all of us that care about you and what happens. Let that help bouy you up as you are able to add our faith to yours, because you have shared your faith with us.
Sister Saylor (Shannon)
I am so glad I found your blog. I LOVE everything about it. In seminary you were exactly the kind of woman I wanted to be when I grew up 🙂 You were so inspiring and made it easy to want to be a faithful member of the church. Even now you are teaching me and helping me grow. I just ordered one of your AWESOME scripture journals. I can’t wait to get it and be dedicated to studying.
I really am in awe at your tremendous faith. Being able to share this had to be so hard. I am glad you did, I will be praying for you and your wonderful sounding husband and sweet little girl!
Still admiring and loving you,
Katelin Klug (Wotring)
I went through a similar experience while carrying our second child. After sobbing off and on all day, prayers with it. I remember at the end of the day saying my last prayer and ending it “Thy will will be done”. Peace flooded over me and I knew that my 1 year old, my unborn child, my husband and I would be ok. As it was everything turned out in the best. Looking back now, that experience strengthened us and our marriage. 17 1/2 years later I still remember how hard the news hit me, the fear, it was a traumatic experience.
Squeeze that little girl and your husband all the more.
I don’t know you at all and only found you through another blog. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate what you right and post. Being a mother is such a beautiful gift. Thank you for reminding me of that. I am sure your surgery will go beautifully. I will pray for you and your family!
Oh, Shannon. I’m a silent reader over here, but you have no idea how much your blog posts help me in my journey of faith. On days that I feel like I need to cling to something I usually turn to your blog for searching and then reference with my scriptures.
It’s been a while since I’ve been over here, and something was nagging at me, so here I am. My heart too sank into my stomach a bit while reading this post, but I have to tell you that I can feel your strength just through your words in this post. I want you to know that my prayers and heart are with you through this <3
I too have been a silent reader and have loved your blog! Thank you for your inspiration, its because of you that I have started my journal, two of them. One being personal and the other my scripture journal. A BIG thank you! MY prayers are with you and your family.
Shannon – I have heard those same words. It is hard and something your never ready for or expecting. HOWEVER…. Think of it as a little bump along the road. You’ll be fine. Strangely, you will be grateful for it because you are learning things you never would have learned otherwise. When I was going through my treatments for breast cancer, one of the big lessons that I learned was that faith is a decision. You will have it and be strengthened in the very moments you need. A scripture that helped me immensely was Joshua 1:9. ” Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest”
Sending lots of positive thoughts, love and prayers your way. Let your sweet Hannah be your therapy. 🙂
Love,
Danae Shill
faithofasunflower.blogspot.com
p.s. I use Doterra oils too and I love them.
Shannon, I just stumbled across your story. Not sure what led me here, but glad it did. I was diagnosed with Melanoma at the age of 28 – with a husband and 2 little kids. I felt the same way you just described (but I could never put it all in to words). I saw my life flash before my eyes. I had had my spot for over 2 years. Some other things happened that got me to the doctor fast after those 2 years…. and thank goodness I went. 🙂 Ended up that I had cancer in three different spots on my body – Melanoma in two of them. A Higher power was watching out for me. And here I am 2 years later and cancer free. Our Heavenly Father knows our heart’s desires. And sounds like you have a lot of people praying for you. Thank you for sharing your story. I needed it today.
Hi,
I posted several comments back in May and felt much sympathy for your situation (cancer diagnosis w/ your new precious baby).
LITTLE DID I KNOW I’D FIND MYSELF IN A VERY SIMILAR SITUATION.
I’m 6 months pregnant w/ miracle baby girl #2 (took 10 yrs to have girl #1 who is now 3 y/o); I was diagnosed 1 month ago with colorectal cancer. Because I’m pregnant they can only do minimal screening & treatment…but the screening I have done has all come back very favorable (no signs of spread). I’m on a low-dose of chemo plus I immediately changed my diet after doing lots of research (I’m vegan now), lots of juicing, and cancer-fighting herbs. I’m glad to say that my symptoms have improved drastically from the diet and herbs alone in 1 week even before I started chemo, I have some very good signs that the tumor has shrunk. It looks like I will be able to keep the baby in longer just as God has promised me, 32-34 weeks.
God is truly in control…of even our very lives. He blesses us so abundantly. I thank him for what he’s going to.